ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA…

…mommy! I made pee pee in my bed! Drag self to your innocent child’s side. Peel off pee pee pajamas, pee pee sheets, pee pee pillows and pee pee stuffed lions, tigers and bears oh my! Drag entire mess into laundry room. Find all new bedding, make bed to the stringent standards of your type A four year old. Tell him that no, he cannot come into your bed. Try to sound convincing. End up sleeping on the floor besides child. So yes, one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Just like the good old days. Only floor is cleaner and you find a Hot Wheel car embedded into your cheek the next morning.

I am attempting to sit for five consecutive minutes, baby asleep and swinging in that weird contraption designed to rock your baby when you would like to do something other than sway back and forth for hours on end. Although, to be honest, I still feel like I’m swaying back and forth. Could possibly be the tequila I drank last night, or could be mother’s version of getting my “land legs” back. My vote is for the tequila. But more on that later. Other boy is contentedly building NYC out of Legos. Convinced he’s going to be an architect, city planner, engineer or some such thing. Probably will end up selling fake drugs to tourists in Tompkins Square Park.

Five minutes spent describing my attempt to steal five minutes. Now I’m really playing with fire. Baby still swinging, boy still building.

So, I suppose it’s worth mentioning that I turned forty. This should also help explain my recent tequila sunrise so to speak. I feel pretty ambiguous about the whole thing. When I turned 39 I had a lofty list of things to accomplish before my fortieth birthday. I found out I was pregnant in December and had a baby instead. I guess now I have to take another look at my list and see what I can accomplish before I turn forty-one. I figure I’ve got this covered since I plan on turning 41 the next of never. I work well when the deadline can be manipulated, ignored and bended to suit myself. Yep. I think I could really make it happen this year folks! I’ll let you know what “it” is just as soon as I figure it out. Feel free to offer up any suggestions you may have.

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