SOME THINGS MATTER MORE
February 24th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
I could enthrall you with the ever-expanding size of my pregnant ass. Or I could complain about a myriad of everyday catastrophes that I faced, head on and very crankily today, in this cold, rainy city where spring may never come.
But I won’t.
Because some things do matter more…
VU Anniversary Video
NOTHING SAYS I LOVE YOU LIKE…
February 4th, 2010 § 1 Comment
via digby and iona
…a glazed skunk skull with some seriously blingin’ dental work!
But seriously folks, I have one valentine that would truly appreciate this lil’ guy (or gal?)
I could tell you the story of one particularly strong hearted woman who after losing the love of her life, was forced to take many matters into her own hands. Matters such as the fetching of one’s own Sunday Times, which, when you live in Northern Vermont, is no small task. And there is, of course, so much more. An achingly long list of things that aren’t in the slightest bit funny, so I won’t attempt to make them so. But, the whole point of this post was the damn skunk head. Not loss and pain and ookey stuff like that.
So, this strong hearted woman, after feeling like her poor heart, strong or not, had taken just a bit too much of a licking, discovered one early spring day that a skunk had taken up residence under her front porch. She went inside to ponder this matter over some black coffee and her crossword puzzle. This creature was torturing her pets and also her small nephew mind you. More importantly, it’s very presence was torturing her, and furthermore, really, really pissing her off. She thought of how the situation may have been remedied in the past. She drained the last of her coffee right down to the grit in the bottom of the cup. Stomped into the living room where an old hunting rifle was hidden up in the rafters. She took the rifle down, loaded it, stomped back out to the front porch and…
…well, she blew that f@*ker away.
Not the most PC of story endings. But you know. This woman was protecting her home and her family and her tired, bruised heart that had decided she could not take one more stab of lonliness. At least not that particular day.
So, happy valentine’s day mama.
Good aim.
TOUGH LOVE
February 3rd, 2010 § Leave a Comment
And my new favorite? Hands down? No f*@k-ing around? It’s KELL ON EARTH. I’m drawn like a moth to a flame. I can’t stop. I love this woman! She has managed to reach deep into my guts and retrieve that tiny, small, almost dissapeared piece of me that once lived another life. She’s recusitated my demon-bitch-ball-buster. And oh how I’ve missed her. Can I tell you that it’s fabulous to once again see mere mortals cringe in the presence of my POWER? Granted, these plebians are now members of my household, markedly, my poor husband. Such a joy it was to observe the way he drew back in horror at my request of a status report on his progress in hiring movers?! How he scuttled off to rectify the situation the moment I demanded he give it his “f*@king ALL God damnit!” Our adorable dog, formerly coddled and hand fed bits of sliced turkey, has been warned. So help me, one more screw up, (i.e.pee on the zebra rug), and that lil’ yorkie terror is OUT of here!!
Fortunately, I’ve refrained so far from informing my three-year old that, “if he needs to cry, please go outside”. But as I mentioned, it’s winter and it’s brutally cold out. I am a loving and devoted mom damnit, and I will only make him go in the hallway. Not outside.
At least until the springtime.
